i want to die

I don’t really want to die; in fact, I’m afraid of heaven or hell. I don’t want to see myself lying in a coffin, and even more, I don’t want to see myself hanging or bleeding on the floor. I love my life, I love my dogs and cats, but often, I still think about what will happen to me if I die. Will anyone cry for me? Will anyone be sad about my departure? Will someone look for me, or maybe they’ll find joy when I leave this world? Honestly, it’s exhausting to constantly think about death because it feels like we’re being killed and punished every day in this life. I really don’t know what’s right. Perhaps I wrote this just to express my thoughts, and once again, I ponder what will happen in the future. But for now, all I can say is that I don’t want to die. Despite the hardships in life, I will strive to live, even if breathing becomes difficult, for my beloved dogs and cats. I love you all.